Sybil (1976)

A film that left me a while to ponder on the complexity of mental health issues and the significance of carrying a specific trauma that could interfere with a person's daily functioning. In this film, Sybil depicts a portrayal of a woman suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) due to her abusive and traumatizing childhood and is able to dissociate herself into 16 different personalities. Sybil's diagnosis with DID can be notably apparent in this case through her relationship with her abusive mother who is emotionally unstable, resulting in her expressing frustration towards Sybil in a horrifyingly abusive manner both physically and emotionally.

Sybil can also be seen as a child who wants her mother's affection, though unfortunately was only received with backlash and abuse. It has been found that children who lack emotional and social support are more likely to develop trauma-related dissociative disorders, what more if they are growing up in a family environment that is neglectful, which in this case, Sybil's father was not really supportive and caring for Sybil despite being aware of his wife's abusive treatment, and did not portray taking any form necessary action to protect and console his daughter. Hence, a child who feels that they are not supported to cope with difficult feelings and situations are likely to succumb on using dissociation as a way of dealing with trauma.

The dynamic of Dr Wilber and Sybil's therapist-patient relationship is particularly a stressful experience to witness and has made me realized how tough of a job that must be as a therapist, to carry immense patience and stable emotional regulation to deal with a patient that may also sometimes challenge a therapist's nature of work to breach boundaries. For instance, Dr Wilber has notably portrayed certain acts of breaching her boundary as a therapist by seeing her patient outside office hours. However, though it may be an act of going against her work boundaries, I believe it was a wise and responsible act to keep Sybil in control as she was about to risk her life by committing suicide.

Hence it may not be an act of negligence, but a mere act of protection which is essential in the nature of her work to keep her client safe at all times.

This film has provided me a broader perspective on the struggles individuals experience with DID and I would believe it is a film that would help alleviate the stigma towards DID patients who are often deemed to be scary, crazy and unstable. From the further research that I have done towards understanding this disorder, I have come to realize that the root to this stigmatized disorder is merely a coping mechanism to deal with overwhelming stress, having different alters cater to a specific stressful event, which is essentially a normal reaction we are all capable to have when faced with threat that is for instance, compromises of the 'fight' or 'flight' response.

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It has also gave me a better understanding and insight on educating me towards the nature of DID and it is a disorder that is in fact treatable with time. It goes to show that the mind is a very powerful thing that requires delicate care just as much as our own body, and with a healthy and capable approach to regulate our thoughts, it is always possible to take control of it in a better manner. Furthermore, with hope and adequate insight to accepting such mental disorders in our community as something that is less stigmatized, it will provide these individuals a much more secure and advantageous platform to recover and function normally again. 


Give hope.

Give love.

There will always be someone in this world who needs it,

Schindler's List (1993)

A truly mind boggling and powerful film that illustrates the tragic Holocaust war period alongside presenting the main character Oskar Schindler, who had saved the lives of many Jews by employing them to work in his factory. This is by far one of the greatest war films I've taken into liking and left me with a trail of thoughts that were inclusive of a haunting sense of loss towards the lives taken, as well as anger towards mankind's capability of residing in their utmost cruel nature. 

I like how the main character of this film, namely Schindler who possessed characteristics of a philanthropist on saving many lives, isn't depicted as the conventional hero who triumphs in his own victory and unflawed like what an admirable hero should be by possessing admirable traits, because Schindler in this case, had a very much flawed character at the beginning that compromises of him womanizing, conducting illegal business, and ultimately, residing in the greed for power and making more money. What was truly interesting to see, was the transition of his character from being a man obsessed with making money to a person obsessed with saving more lives towards the end of the film. And to make the scenario and his good deeds more complex to dive in, him buying of Jews from his list was an act of kindness that came along with a cost of risking him in more danger, which highlights a truly raw courageous act and a realistically depicted dilemma that can challenge one's perspective on taking the risk to do something good.

Besides depicting Oskar's kindness, the film shows me the reality and horrors of war that was able to set me uncomfortably in my seat. It leaves me to question the possibility of such immense cruelty in humanity, and along with the breeding resentment stemming from racism. Are human beings really that capable of committing such cruelty to torture and treat others like puppets whom they could kill out of no remorse and pity? Or are they merely programmed to just follow orders? 

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It is a truly scary, horrifying and heartbreaking experience to witness the cruelty stemming from  sufferings and fear among the victims of war alongside grasping the inhumane behavior of the perpetrators, or in other words, I would call them the senseless 'killing human machines'. Being a part of the post war generation, this film has instilled in me a stronger sense of being grateful for the little things in regards to being granted the privilege to be alive without going through the horrendous struggles victims in wars fight through. It is upsetting to see that we are just as inhumane and senseless as much as we are human beings who are perfectly capable of thinking and feeling in a just manner. 

- I believe no person deserves to inflict such amount of torture on others, because we are all human beings alike, and that torturing and taking a life alike is equivalent to taking a similar toll on oneself.

Ultimately, this film carries one significant message which is significant to ponder on, and that is the value of a life preserved, that brings this one important question to light, 

" How much is a human worth to you? "

Hunt for The Wilderpeople (2016)

This film features a comedic yet heartwarming portrayal of the meaning of family between the relationship of Ricky and his father figure, Rec that was gradually established through their adventures in the forest.

The main character Ricky to me is perceived as a delinquent boy who is in fact deprived of the necessary love and affection he needs as a child which he had barely gained from his experience with the child welfare services through the years. Picturing myself in his shoes, I personally felt worried for the boy after his foster mother's sudden death as I saw her as someone who was able to nurture him with the love and attention he needs. Carrying the sense of immediate loss towards the foster mother Bella, I did not quite trust Ricky in the hands of her husband for he seemed incapable of taking care and raising a child alongside showering an appropriate amount of affection. 

Ricky and Rec

One of the biggest highlights of this film for me will be the development of both of the characters towards appreciating and needing each other, and Rec's character development particularly was interesting and heartfelt to watch as he transformed from a cold distant man to a figure who was finally willing to accept Ricky towards the end. Rec may look like an old grumpy man, but he was eventually able to show his care in small subtle ways towards Ricky which was pleasant to watch. 

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I believe if weren't for Ricky's determination to stay in his foster family, both him and Rec would not be able to experience a relationship that is enriching with the adventures they went through in the forest and ultimately, allowing their relationship to grow.

Furthermore, it seems to me that Ricky has finally found his sense of belonging through his adventures with Rec and became a better and decent individual that could be notably seen towards the end, (noting the lost of bizarre fashion and rebel boy look) 

To me the character Rec, despite looking cold and aloof, is actually a man who is very much soft on the inside and most importantly. he became an important person to Ricky. I believe Rec made him feel protected and important, something that he could not gain from his previous foster homes. and gave him an adventure of a lifetime in which he learned plenty of skills in regards to surviving in the forest and potentially molding him into a useful individual.

In a nutshell, the relationship between Ricky and Rec depicts the significance of belonging, where both characters were deprived of, notably after Rec's wife passed away and Ricky being an orphan. Their interesting adventure demonstrates one profound lesson to take, which is the importance of having one another's back and a vital place of belonging to call home.

Grace is Gone (2007)

One melancholic and depressing film that highlights the painful journey of grief depicting a story of an unexpectedly widowed husband, Stanley, and the struggles against himself to accept his wife's death alongside bearing the stress to deliver the devastating news to his two young daughters.

The biggest development I like about this film is the portrayal of the subsequent changes in the father's parenting revolving around his inability to understand his daughters and express his affection. Stanley can be observed as a father figure who is notably awkward and strict with his kids, but the occurrence of his wife's death was able to eventually softened him up and opened up a side of him that was able to encourage him to express his love for the kids in a right manner. I believe despite taking such a devastating event to propel him to let his guards down on dealing with the reality of being a supportive father, it brought out the best form of father figure in him which he will vitally require to raise his children single handedly in the long run.

Furthermore, through the journey of the characters on dealing with the loss, I particularly liked the impact from the mystery revolving around Stanley's wife and how her character was still able to successfully bring me in with the family to mourn over the loss towards a character that was barely featured much in the film, yet the impact from its sense of emptiness and the remains of her presence in the film is still utterly heartbreaking and difficult to accept.

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I personally have not experienced the struggles of losing a loved one. I lost my grandmother at a very young age, but I was too young to comprehend what loss and grief really meant. However, this film has a given me a clearer insight on the elements and nature behind human grief through the eyes of Stanley, and based of my experiences from the challenges of missing someone who is away for a short period, I can particularly relate with the children through the struggles of missing their mother. To illustrate, my mother used to go on a lot of short overseas business trips back when I was in primary school, and given that I am an only child, I somehow shared a stronger bond with my mother and often could not bare the loneliness I'm in when she's away, even though if it's only for a good few days of the week. Hence in this case, I would not be able to take in a reality in which a particular someone who is special to me is gone for good and it is difficult to imagine experiencing missing somebody who is never going to come back, making it by far one of the scariest things to experience and comprehend. 

The biggest life lesson here to take is that life is short and fleeting.

It is important to remember that one should always take the time to appreciate what's in the present moment to the fullest possible way because time serves unpredictable answers in the future, and I believe the best form of mindset to cope and tackle the somewhat cruel natures of life sometimes, is to be always grateful and appreciate what you have alongside preparing for the worst, 

Because a life lived half heartedly with guilt, is a life barely worth living.

Experimenter (2015)

This film featuring the journey of Milgram's life story on his conducted experiments has given me a stronger perspective on how inhumane behaviors are of no exception to a civilized human being particularly when it involves a situation of conflicted empathy that is often real and unavoidable, which brings to the irony that despite bearing empathy to understand another person's shoes, why do we still perform actions knowing that it would inflict pain and suffering on others?

"This goes to show that it is of no secret that the ability and readiness to bring harm to another human being makes the brutal part of human nature and the society we live in."

One particular dilemma raised from Milgram's experiment is well, centralized around ethics, which brings an important question to ponder, what is a fair amount of stress inflicted that is considered acceptable in the name of science? Considering the situation of his experiment was staged in a manner of illusion, then does that involve deception? From what is portrayed of Milgram's character, I would interpret his inability to accept his experiment critics as a form of stubbornness, making it one of the ugly qualities his subjects equally have. His unwillingness to see the other side of things alongside his obsession with the nature of obedience has blinded him from seeing that his methods may be interpreted as an abuse of power in their own right. 

To further illustrate, his inability to see things on the other side was also illustrated in the scene where he was accused from a student in his Harvard class that pointed out his experiment was a deception and he reacts by shutting her down, He was also similarly prickly when he is confronted by a panel of researchers, and this showed that he in fact, looked down on his critics and saw them as a nuisance that should not be taken seriously instead of seeing the scenario as a platform to improve his upcoming experiments.

However, I believe to judge harshly against his approach in the experiment is to disregard the complexities that he has faced in his life, namely for instance, his history of merely escaping the holocaust tragedy. His determination to dive in his quest for truth behind the concept of obedience has created a world of his that hovers between the real one and one of his imagination. This scenario raises a question whether the resulting effects behind his experiment has in fact turned Milgram into an accomplice by inducing the ability in a person to harm another? Or is his experiment just pointing out the harsh reality of the brutal human nature?

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I believe the ultimate takeaway from this film is to convey a message that resides in having the sheer determination to believe in our objectives, as how Milgram portrays it through his determination and passion to figure the reasons behind the compelling truth of obedience. We may not always know whether our actions are deemed to be either right or wrong, but the best we can do is to continually have faith in our objectives and entrusting ourselves in hopes that we do not become the things we fear in others, for:

" Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward."

Social experiment:
It'll be interesting to conduct an experiment in regards to testing how and to what extend a person can keep a secret when they are shown prior evidence to something that is unethical and against their beliefs, and if they are compelled to reveal when being offered incentives or something geared in a more negative manner than could risk them in more harm. To spice up and induce further decision making conflict, it will be interesting to see in regards to whom an individual is a keeping a secret from. For instance, it could be compared in terms of knowing the person personally or not, alongside seeing whether impressions formed of another individual could effect the way a person decides to expose a secret about another.

Amadeus (1984)

Amadeus features two talented musicians, namely Antonio Salieri and Mozart who shares incredible talent and passion over their compositions, though however, shared a friendship that was manipulative due to Salieri's raging jealousy on Mozart's musical gift which he presumed was a gift from God.

From this film, jealousy can be seen as the main theme revolving around the characters' established relationship, for it is notably portrayed as a fuel to Salieri's brutal plan on tormenting Mozart psychologically alongside his health in order to gain fame by taking credit over the written magnificent Requiem which he had pressured Mozart to write and ultimately leading to his death.

Salieri's root of jealousy in this case, may be a result of a self serving bias thinking pattern, which by definition, explains an individual's tendency to attribute their success internally but attribute their failures in an external manner. As illustrated from the film, Salieri believed that God is mocking his mediocre musical talent from Mozart, and felt defeated and challenged. Rather than working on his mistakes and taking Mozart's expertise into account to improve his musical improvisations in a positive manner, he attributed his weaker competence to the hands of God whom he perceived to have betrayed him. This self serving bias pattern portrayed by Salieri can be seen as an ego protection mechanism to sustain his self esteem, alongside helping him to cope better with his underrated abilities as compared to Mozart.

On the other hand, his perception of his relationship with God can also be seen as a form of egocentric bias, which bases on a tendency to rely too heavily and on one's own perspective and point of views, or in other words, believing they are special. This form of state on placing excessive importance towards oneself which in this case for Salieri, has led to the satisfaction of his ego and ultimately stirring bitterness from his brooding state of jealousy. For instance, Salieri displayed a repeated obsession on his special relationship with God and his given talents due to his good sacrificial deeds for God, but was taken aback when he found another competitor whom he felt was a sign of mocking of his talents from above. This displays a distorted form of perception of the world against oneself which can breed feelings of resentment and jealously that are highly detrimental if not managed in a proper manner

One of the prominent take home message which I've found vital enough to ponder on is that the greed for power can sometimes lead to something that could turn out to be more destructive, and ultimately leaving one to nothing substantial in hand but feelings of enhanced bitterness, guilt and failure which Salieri has demonstrated in his plan that has ultimately failed when the Requiem is left unfinished. He later attributed his plan failure as a sign of God robbing his source of glory from the Requiem which again displays a highly destructive form of perception that has led to worsen his psychological state on dealing with his unresolved feelings of envy and jealousy and consequently making him insane towards the end. It also signifies that how we attribute ourselves in regards to our thinking patterns is vital to determine our course of actions that can be either positive or negative, and we should constantly regulate and manage them in a manner that does not bring us more harm.

Forget Paris (1995)

Forget Paris depicts a very well crafted plot that makes a perfect blend of a fairy tale love story that however comes along with the realistic depiction of how relationships are like in reality. Mickey and Ellen's love story started off as the ideal concept of falling in love as they fell in love and made memories in one of the most romantic cities where everything seemed beautiful and all too fairy tale like in the name of love. Love seemingly swept them off their feet in a short period of time during Mickey's short stay in Paris, however, they eventually had to come down to earth and return to their own issues and lives to deal with, and things eventually took a turn.

The couple soon started to realize the amount of obstacles that are preventing them from having the love they imagine, and this is where the real challenges comes to light that inevitably puts the strength of a relationship to a difficult test. It is also a phase in relationships where most people would choose to avoid, and ultimately giving it up as we are often more interested in the good parts alongside reliving the rewarding feeling of being 'high' in love, but never the ugly sides of it.

However, no amount of 'highs' from being in love would last to survive the long haul of relationships.

One profound lesson I learned from this movie, is that falling in love is easy, but staying in love on the hand, always falls back down to a choice. It is about making a choice that stems from sheer commitment and courage to make, which adds to the essence of a growing relationship that will be more rewarding on the long run as nothing good comes easy without effort. Through the struggles and trials that comes in hand with relationships, we are given a platform to gradualyly discover more about ourselves and our partner, and ultimately, the right way to love and finding the best foundation to sustain a healthy and loving relationship.

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Another aspect about this movie which I also found particularly helpful on the qualities of a strong relationship, is the importance of giving space and freedom for your partner to reside in their own individuality and be who they are. Most people are often inclined to change their partner accordingly to fit their preferred standards and needs, which in this case, Ellen notably tried to encourage Mickey to quit his job because she wanted him to spend more time with her but did not consider the importance of his job to him. Mickey on the other hand, exerted a crucial trait in a relationship which I found admirable, which is the ability to sacrifice what he truly loves in order to make the woman he loves happy, but at a cost of feeling miserable on the other end. This goes to show that sometimes it does not just take one party to sacrifice and settle for the other but rather working together as a team to fulfill each other's needs as it can potentially breed resentment and negativity which may disrupt the dynamic of the relationship.

We often tend to forget that the person we fall in love with is a person of a different background that comes with their own form of individuality to offer, which also actually makes the person we choose to fall for in the first place. Hence having able to find a middle ground to compromise in regards to allowing your partner to be at their best alongside feeling happy in a relationship is vital and important to consider. I would believe a healthy relationship is a relationship in which it allows an adequate amount of space for both partners to evolve and grow into better individuals. This is because a love that is alive is a love that is constantly evolving. It may be fulfilling to always go back to the past and reside in the things that started off as a fairy tale as things were seemingly better. However, sometimes, as the title goes, "forget Paris", for it is more realistic to focus on the present and continue working on the best possible aspects to keep a relationship alive alongside keeping in mind the root of the relationship from how it started off which makes a perfect balance to sustain a strong relationship.